Do you have a troubled teen?

Do you have a teen that thinks they shouldn’t have to put up with rules?  They think they shouldn’t have to deal with school, hang with older friends that are sexually active, offer drugs and alcohol.  Have they been caught shoplifting, steal money from you or maybe even steal your car?  Are they carrying weapons?  Do your teens have melt-downs when you attempt to enforce a rule?  Do they break things?  Are they physically and verbally threatening you?  Do they hurt themselves or others?

What do you do about it?  Do you dole out money?  Do you hand them the keys just to shut them up?  Do you make threats and not follow through with them? 

A parent should not worry about making their child mad.  Rules are a part of adulthood.  It is not easy to parent!  Teaching children that they don’t have to follow rules is going to create a young adult in jail.  Your child will not respect authority (police/laws, professors, bosses, etc.) if you don’t teach them respect at an early age.

When my children made poor choices, I felt like a failure of a parent.  My mind worked overtime to try to protect them from making mistakes that would affect them the rest of their lives.  We are often free to make choices but powerless to choose our consequences.  Proverbs 14:12  

If you are living with a troubled teen, arm yourself with this book:  Not My Child by Frank Lawlis.  It is a progressive and proactive approach for healing addicted teens and their families.  It will help children deal with depression, obsessive cravings, and damaged relationships.

Make sure you have a support system.  My saving grace was my bible study leader.  He was a great advisor and prayer warrior.

With Blessings to You and Yours,

Judy Herrig

Self Will vs God's Will

I am such a control freak… I find it difficult to concentrate on my devotionals and bible study when I feel so out of control.  I obsess on the difficulties and disappointments rather than glorifying God for my blessings. 

In Galatians 5:1, Paul teaches that Christ died to free us of our sins, not to do whatever we want to do. Those who tend to indulge themselves fall into sin. Paul writes that we are to live unselfishly and to not allow things that keep us from being saved or growing in Christ.   

In Romans 12:2, Paul warns Christians to be careful of worldly customs because they are usually selfish and corrupt.  We must stand strong against worldly ways.  Only the Holy Spirit can truly renew and transform our minds.  In Romans 8:5 Paul describes people as being divided into two categories; those who are controlled by sin and those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit.

In Matthew 6:33, we are reminded to “seek the Kingdom of God above all else”.  All else!

In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Paul warns that our joy, prayers and thankfulness should not fluctuate with our circumstances. When we do God’s will, it is easier to feel more joy and gratitude.

So, with this, I am going to concentrate more on my attitude toward God and His kingdom rather than my worldly expectations.

Power Struggles With God

I have been absent from writing due to some struggles going on in my life.  The truth of the matter is that I am having power struggles with God.  Sometimes it is very hard for me to remember that I am powerless and I want to control every area of my life.  I forget that things happen in His time, not mine.

This morning, I decided I am going to let go, and let God.  I am going to obey God by doing His work.  So I am intently reading His word and doing what He has asked me to do.  So, please forgive me as I confess my anxieties with you so I can infectiously motivate others.
In Psalm 127:2, I am reminded to work while trusting God, and also rest while trusting Him. 
John 14:27, John wants us to understand that the result of the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives offers us a lasting peace. That we have no need to fear the present or the future.  Jesus says all I have to do is accept it from Him.

Well, I know all that…  so…. what is my problem???  
I want resolution yesterday!

It is easy to get impatient and feel hopelessness when my resolve is moving too slowly.  Especially when we are close to the situation, it is difficult to see the progress.  Joshua teaches us that when we look back, we will see God’s hand in it.   Joshua 11:18

And in 1 Samuel 13:11-12, it is recognized how difficult it is to trust God when you feel your resources slipping away.  Saul though his time was running out and he became impatient with God’s timing, so he substituted a ritual for his faith.

When we are faced with difficulties, we should never allow impatience allowing us excuses to ignore or disobey God.  We know God has a plan for us, and often uses delays to test our obedience and impatience.  We should never justify our mistakes or sins because of “special circumstances” because God knows our true motives.  1 Samuel 13:13

In Exodus 2:23-25, God promised to bring the Hebrew slaves out of Egypt.  The people waited a long time for that promise, but He knew the perfect time to rescue them.  God rescues us in His timing, not ours. 

Jesus trusted God’s timing for His life in ministry according to Luke 3:23.  Like Jesus, we need to be patient to receive direction.  We need to trust God’s timing.

I used to sing this song in my gospel bluegrass band: (rest in peace Karen!)
In His time, in His time.  
He makes all things beautiful in His time. 
Lord, show me every day, as You’re teaching me Your way,
that You’ll do just what You say, in Your time.

Defeat Temptation

Defeat Temptation

As a human, defeating temptation is difficult.  We face temptation every day.   It is easier to blame others and to make excuses for our actions.  But a Christian should accept responsibility for their actions, confess them and ask God for forgiveness.

In James 1:12-15, we are reminded that when we endure trials we are blessed because when we pass the test, we receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. 

To help resist temptation, you can ask a trusted person to be your accountability partner.  It has to be a person you can be forthcoming with.   In return, that person should reciprocate with non-judgmental honesty and grace.  This person should be someone you are comfortable to pray with, to be a prayer warrior for you. 

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16.

Learn From One Another

Learn from one another

We should always be open to learning from one another.   Do you accept “training” or “constructive criticism from others?  In Proverbs 27:17 we are reminded:  “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”  NLT further explains “Mental sharpness comes from being around good people.  And a meeting of minds can help people see their ideas with new clarity, refine them, and shape them into brilliant insights.  This requires partners who can challenge one another and stimulate thought – people who focus on the idea without involving their egos in the discussion; people who know how to attack the thought and not the thinker.  Two friends who bring their ideas together can help each other become sharper.”

Protect Yourself From False Philosophies

How do you protect yourself from being lead into false philosophies?   

In 2 Timothy 2:14-16, Paul explains false teachers will use trivial arguments that cause strife and division.  To know if their teaching is true, we have to study scripture so we understand what it means.  We are instructed to build our lives on scripture because the Bible tells us how to live for Him and to serve Him.  We are to study the Word regularly or we will find ourselves neglecting God and our true purpose for living.  Hebrews 2:1 tells us to pay close attention to the truth so we don’t fall prey to false teachings.  We must not neglect our salvation.

In Acts 1:11, Paul reminds us there are people who teach wrong doctrines and lead others astray.  Some are misguided or confused, and some are self-serving.   Acts 17:11 it also says we can verify teachings by comparing them from scripture.  Anyone who teaches God’s word will never contradict the Bible.    “You can recognize false teachers because they will (1) focus more attention on themselves than on Christ, (2) ask you to do something that will compromise or dilute your faith, (3) de-emphasize the divine nature of Christ or the inspiration of the Bible, or (4) urge believers to make decisions based more on human judgment than on prayer and biblical guidelines.” NLT

Worried Christian

I am not your fire and brimstone kind of Christian, but I need to share this with you because of what is going on in our world today.

My bible study and church service both paralleled each other making its emphasis so much stronger.  The other parallel it brought to mind is what is going on today in our world.

 

In my bible study we studied Daniel 7.  Daniel prophesized in a dream where he saw visions of nations at war.  He saw four huge beasts representing a world empire. 

The lion represented Babylon (our modern day Iraq),

a bear that ravaged the lion representing Persia (our modern day Iran)

and the leopard represented Greece (our modern day Syria). 

The fourth and largest beast points out to Rome and the end times. 

The large one has 10 horns that represent 10 Kings who will reign before God sets up tribulation.  The little horn is a human ruler (an anti-Christ).   God describes the end times in II Thessalonians 2:3,4.  Also see Revelation 13:5-8.  

In Revelation 17:3, John recorded a vision of a scarlet beast with 7 heads and 10 horns symbolizing the powers on earth that will rule under the anti-Christ. 

Daniel 7:10 God is ministered by millions of angels (also Rev 5:11,12).  God opens his book of life and the dead were judged (also Rev 20:12).  Non-believers will not be saved.

Daniel 7:18,25  tells us that believers will be saved in the end times.

Daniel 7:19 discusses how Christians will suffer persecution.  We are seeing that today in Iraq and Syria (aka Babylon and Persia).

Daniel 7:23 One of the ten kings will take over three of the kings.  He will make war against Christ and Christians and attempt to stop all religious activities and laws. 26 But the Kings’ power will be taken away and destroyed and the Christians will be given the Kingdom of God.

Pastor Mike spoke from Matthew 24 & 25.

Matt 24:3 the disciples asked what the end times were going to be like?  4,9 says Don’t be mislead by a false messiah. 

Signs of end times: false messiahs, wars, famines, earthquakes, horrible living conditions, persecution, false religions, lawlessness and love turning cold (Matt 24:12) 

Does any of this sound familiar???

In Matt 24:36 Jesus says that no one will know what day or hour these things will happen.  It was compared to Noah’s day when people were told of the flood but everyone went on with their lives until the flood swept them all away. 

Matt 24:42 So we must keep watch!  We must be ready! (also Matt 25:13)

Matt 24:50 He will return unannounced and put all the hypocrites in a place where there will be weeping an gnashing of the teeth.

Matt 25:24-30 We must not make excuses to avoid what God asks us to do. If we ignore, squander or abuse what we are given, there will be eternal punishment.

Matt 25:32  All the nations will be gathered and He will separate them like a shepherd will separate sheep from goats (parable for believers from non-believers).

Matt 25:40 By serving others, you are a servant of God. (also Isaiah 58:7)  He will curse the ones who are unwilling to serve others and go to eternal punishment.

So what should we be like?  II Peter 3:11 We should live holy and Godly lives.  If we are morally clean and spiritually alert, Christ’s return will not be a surprise. 

 

There it is!!  Put out in front of you like it was given to me.  With this in mind,  I am a worried Christian.  I am worried for those that deny knowing Christ.  I am praying for my ministry to touch and heal bitter souls who have turned from God.

 

If you (or someone you know) have any questions about “being saved” or “becoming a believer”, please email me at judyherrig@abetterlivingexperience.com. 

Blessings to you and yours,

Judy Herrig

Serenity Prayer

I have a number of people in my life that are recovering from addictions.  So I am writing to say...
God Bless You and your journey.  I am proud of you for taking responsibility for it, and I commend you for each day that you get through - another day.
I adore the Serenity Prayer thanks to my Dad who explained what that prayer meant to him as a recovering alcoholic.  I shared a more in-depth version of this with my Toastmaster's group and received warm responses from it.
GOD, Grant me the serenity (God, please give me peace of mind and heart)
To accept the things I cannot change (to understand I cannot change what other people think and do)
The courage to change the things I can (to take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions)
And the wisdom to know the difference (self explanatory).
I get it!
Written with warm thoughts of my Dad who passed many years ago!
With Blessings to you and yours,
Judy Herrig

Why do we need to be neighborly?

It is very hot and humid today here in Tennessee.  This morning, as I drove by a familiar house where an elderly couple live, they had their door wide open.  I realized they do not have air conditioning in their home.  A couple of days ago, I saw that same couple with their underwear drying out on an old ladder.  All I could think was "Don't they have any family to help them?  What is their story?"  I sit here in my air conditioned home waiting for a storm to go by, thinking about that couple.  If they were my neighbors, what would I do?  I would invite them to my home for dinner! 
I would like to share a beautiful scripture in Matthew 25:30-34 (NLT).
It is a parable that describes acts of mercy that we can do daily.  These acts do not depend on your wealth, abilities or intelligence.  We are not to ignore people with deep needs and should not make the church or government responsible for them.  Jesus expects us to have personal involvement in caring for others’ needs.
Now that's something to think about!
Blessings to you and yours!
Judy

Working on my garden...

Today I worked all day on my class preparation.  I am hoping that these long hours will be fruitful.  I know that you have to plant seeds and maintain the garden to reap a good crop.  So, I am working on the garden!  I believe in all of my research, I have found a wonderful ground for planting a huge crop.  Prayers needed!
Blessings to you and yours...
Judy Herrig

Sex Offenders in the Community

I am always concerned about children being safe in the community.  I found some staggering stats and facts that I feel are worth sharing.

There are more than 704,000 sex offenders across America.  Most people believe that rehabilitation rate is low.  It is proven that with stable housing / support system, they are less likely to re-offend.  Here are some stats that I found interesting.
 

% of re-offending	5 years	10 years	15 years
Rapists	14 %	21 %	24 %
Incest	6 %	9 %	13 %
Girl victim molester	9 %	13 %	16 %
Boy victim molester	23 %	28 %	35 %

 
Lisa Gererro of Inside Edition, wrote an article about Sex Offender Island where the most dangerous, high risk offenders live.  It is set up like Alcatraz.  She reports that it costs $160k per year, per person.     She learned in her interviews with the inmates they are not sure that they will never re-offend if released into the community.  She found the offenders' triggers were of everyday things that a person cannot avoid to "manage their urges" such as the sound of a muscle car, hearing rock music, long hair, and diaper commercials.
Due to cost, we are destined to have predators mixed within the community.  With thanks to Jessica's Law and Meghan's Law, we at least are informed when a sex offender has moved into the area.
If you are EVER given notice that an offender is moving into your area, make sure to find out as much information about that offender as possible. 
In Minnesota where I owned/operated a group home for women that were mentally ill/intellectually challenged, we had a male sex offender move into the community that had sexually assaulted a female child and an intellectually challenged adult female (I only found this all out by attending the town meeting where flyers were distributed by the local police department).  Because my ladies walked outside on our dirt roads where they were not always visible, we showed them a picture of the man, described what his vehicle looked like and reviewed stranger danger.   We also had them carry two-way radios.  We also role-played what to do if this man comes up and asks them a question, offers them a ride, money or candy, or visit his dog... or whatever he may use to attract them.
I do not like that offenders are allowed back into the community, however...
Here's a kicker!  65- 70% Robbery/Assault re-offend and 41% murderers re-offend.
Be smart, be safe!
Blessings to you and your family!
Judy Herrig

Brat-Proof your children

Today I viewed a Dr. Phil show about "how to brat-proof your children."  Wow!  Some of the parenting examples blew me away.  And made me sad for the children.  I know a person does not always know how much they yell.  I know I was a strict mom and did my share of yelling.  Hind sight is 20/20 and I wish I knew then what I know now.
If you want to get control of your home without being a controller... 
If your children lack responsibility...
Your children lack respect for you...
I strongly recommend the book written by Betsy Brown Braun (guest on Dr. Phil)
"You're Not The Boss of Me"
Blessings to you and your family!
Judy Herrig

Robin Williams

Today I cannot stop thinking about Robin Williams.  My daughter said she feels like she lost a favorite uncle.  She grew up watching his movies! 
Robin was a very sweet man that suffered with Bipolar Disorder.  "What could be so bad to make him commit suicide?"  Please understand that in the depressive cycle, there is no rhyme or reason...  it was beyond what he could cope with.  
I have seen articles with people digging up every personal low he has lived through trying to analyze Robin's demise.  It is my prayer that people will just forgive the past and love him for the great man that he was.  Let him die in peace and with the dignity he deserves.
Prayers of blessings go out to Robin Williams and his family!
Judy Herrig

Newby Blogger

Ok...  I am a newby blogger.  It took my youngest daughter to help me figure out what I was doing wrong.  But I won't go into that!  Thank you, Amber!
ahhhmm....
It is my intention to touch on a subject daily - that may touch you. 
If you have any requests, please offer them to me.  It will help me know what people are thinking about out there.
Thank You!!!!
Judy Herrig